Working Mom 3.0: Get happy

What formula of work and family will truly make you happy? In this issue of Working Mom 3.0, Stephanie Taylor Christensen explores a positive psychologist's theory on the paths to happiness, and how working moms can shift their focus to get on it.

How to find the path to happiness

What formula of work and family will truly make you happy? In this issue of Working Mom 3.0, Stephanie Taylor Christensen explores a positive psychologist's theory on the paths to happiness, and how working moms can shift their focus to get on it.

 

 

 

Working moms and happiness

Scientists often study the difference between the lives of working moms and stay-at-home moms. More often than not, findings reveal that working moms actually report lower incidences of depression than stay-at-home moms who don't work for pay. The findings lend support to the belief that despite all the stress and chaos working motherhood entails, maintaining a career and work/family balance is positive for a mom's mental well-being. Yet prescriptions for anxiety, depression and stress also run rampant in America. Amid our drive to have it all, might we be pursuing the wrong path to happiness?

According to  Dr.Martin Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and founder of positive psychology, there are actually three paths to happiness — and two of them have nothing to do with money or material goods.

The pleasure principle

On "the Pleasant Life" path to happiness, the focus, according to Dr. Seligman, is on having money, material items and being physically attractive. Given that the role of working mom, by definition, hardly ranks Mom's own pleasure as a priority, very few working moms would likely self-identify as being on this path. But without realizing it, we may indeed be on it. The pursuit to be "the perfect mom," as modeled by Hollywood standards, or buying items we really don’t want or need just to keep up with neighbors, friends, family or co-workers, is related to this path. While on the treadmill of pleasure pursuits, working parents devote their lives to maintaining a "happy life" that is full of material wealth but lacking real life satisfaction.

The good and meaningful life

The second type of happiness is called  "the Good Life."  On this path, your overall life, work, friends and parenting styles are structured to complement natural skills. In turn, the path leads to life fulfillment, because you are using, and nurturing, the best parts of yourself. On the third path, which Dr. Seligman calls "the Meaningful Life,"  a person still uses so-called " signature strengths,"  but they are applied to a cause that is larger than themselves.

According to Dr. Seligman, two separate studies have indicated more life satisfaction by way of the the Good Life and the Meaningful Life compared with those on the Pleasure Life path, which shows no correlation between pleasures, material goods and happiness. It’s an important finding for all working moms, in terms of both self-development and the values to instill in kids. Focus energy on that which "fills" you and pursue the instinctual interests you have, even if they pay little or nothing, and defy all logic. Once working moms ditch the pursuit of  the "perfect family," there is an opportunity to discover and model what true life satisfaction looks like.

Working Mom 3.0

The modern woman is redefining what it means to have a successful career. Rather than feeling torn between climbing the corporate ladder and having a happy family life, many women are choosing to merge the two and transition careers from a traditional role to a more flexible one. Working Mom 3.0 is reinventing the definition of "working mom," as office hours are held at home and revolve around nap times.

This column begins by chronicling the experiences of Stephanie Taylor Christensen, a former marketing professional turned self-employed stay-at-home mom, writer and yoga instructor, as she strives to redefine "having it all" on her own time and terms.

More tips for working moms

Working Mom 3.0: Prevent career burnout
Working Mom 3.0: What worries you?
Working Mom 3.0: Scheduled stillness

07 Dec, 2011

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Source: http://www.sheknows.com/living/articles/848705/working-mom-30-get-happy
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Prep your home for holiday parties

'Tis the season for non-stop hosting duties – is your home guest-ready? Whether you'll be planning and prepping for big dinners, intimate gatherings or mid-size seasonal soirees, the key to executing every party perfectly is in the planning. To help you get your home in shape for any event you're hosting, we put together some simple tips to prep your home for holiday parties.

De-clutter

Quick tip: It’s also a good idea to clear clutter off of as many surfaces in your house as you can. This means bathroom counters, coffee and end tables and even your kitchen counter. Everything will look much neater and more polished, and you can utilize the space better once guests arrive, especially counter space which will be at a premium once the party gets going.

We all let things pile up and spill out of drawers and cupboards but there’s no place for clutter at a holiday party. Now is the time to get organized and create a clean, clear space for guests. The more organized your space, the easier it will be for guests to mingle and for you to create the atmosphere you really want -- not to mention how much easier it is to decorate your home when you create more space.  We suggest getting rid of anything you no longer need or use. Now is the perfect time to donate unwanted goods to charities helping those in need.

Create storage

Having a houseful of guests also means having a houseful of heavy coats and boots. Chances are, many of those guests will also be toting gifts, which means you need storage space for all the extra bags, boxes and winter gear that your home will soon be inundated with. Move any coats, jackets or shoes you and your family aren’t currently using and put them in the basement or in a bedroom closet if you have extra space.

Prep the guest room

If you know you’ll have guests staying with you on one or more occasions this holiday , it’s a good idea to get the guest bedroom ready. Clear out the clutter and create storage so guests have somewhere to store their belongings; dust, clean, change the sheets on the bed and add some small comforts such as a book or two, an extra blanket, towel, pitcher and glass for water, and some travel-size toiletries to really make guests feel at home.

Invest in extra seating

Quick tip: Think too about adding some folding trays, card tables or stools on which guests can rest their drinks if your surface space is minimal.

The last thing you need once guests arrive is to realize you don’t have enough chairs. Even if you’re not quite sure what your final head count will be for various parties, stock up on some extra seating anyway. Either rent some or pick up some simple folding chairs from IKEA or Target. They can be left folded up and kept out of the way until you need them.

Enhance your entryway

Welcome guests in style by jazzing up your entryway. After all, it is the first thing people see as they walk in. Large vases featuring festive poinsettias, or indoor planters filled with branches wrapped in white twinkle lights or red and silver bows will anchor the space and look stylishly seasonal. Light some candles lightly scented with cinnamon, nutmeg or pine and place a few freshly wrapped gift boxes on a table or bench to further amp up the festive atmosphere.

Plan your menus

If you haven’t already, now is the time to plan your holiday menu . Make a list, check it twice and then buy whatever non-perishables you need. If there’s anything you can make now, freeze and then bake , do it. The more food planning and prep you can do now, the easier your life will be once the big day arrives.

More entertaining tips

How to be the best hostess
Simple home entertaining ideas to welcome guests
The dos and don'ts of easy holiday entertaining

07 Dec, 2011

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Source: http://www.sheknows.com/holidays-and-seasons/articles/847903/prep-your-home-for-holiday-parties
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Gossip Girl: Blair and Chuck's reunion crashes!

Chuck Bass proved he could love another man's baby -- if it meant he could be with the love of his life, Blair, on Gossip Girl. Their reunion didn't end so well, however. Read on for the details.

Chair fans got to revel in the couple finding their way back to each other Monday night, but this is Gossip Girl and whenever anyone ends up in a car after a reunion, it never ends well.

Before we tell you how Chuck and Blair got back together, let's get you up to speed. Blair is engaged to Louis and having his baby despite knowing that she and Chuck actually belong together. Then there's Dan and his secret feelings for Blair. 

Nope, no love triangle here. The more the merrier. Okay, here's the dish on the midseason finale…

On this week's new episode of Gossip Girl, we thought Dan was going spill his feelings to Blair in an epically romantic way, but it turns out he put his own love aside so Blair could find true happiness. 

Dan realized Blair's future was with Chuck , so he did the right thing by Blair and arranged for her to meet with Chuck at Charlie's party.

Obviously, they needed to talk about the whole baby situation and whether or not Chuck could love another man's child. 

Of course, Chuck originally wanted Blair to stay with the father of her unborn child, but things change fast on the Upper East Side and he realized he could love her baby just as much he loves Blair.

We have to take a moment and give props to Penn Badgley for his heartbreaking performance. He does an amazing job playing off of Leighton Meester and his character's take on the midseason finale was brilliant. 

Okay, back to Chuck and Blair. Just as the two were finally getting somewhere and decided to tell Louis the wedding was off, a blast was sent out by Gossip Girl that the two were at the party together. 

The couple made their way to a waiting car that was swarmed by paparazzi and it eventually crashed. 

At the hospital, Blair wakes up, but the fate of her baby is not revealed. Chuck's not looking so hot either.

This man has survived worse, but still, leaving the midseason finale with a hospital ridden, comatose Chuck and no clue on whether or not Blair's baby is okay, is such a tease. 

Head over to our comments section and tell us what you think will happen when the show returns in January. Check out the 2012 lineup below for return dates of all your favorite CW shows! 

read on for more gossip girl

Michelle Trachtenberg was almost Bella

2012 CW lineup

The boys of Gossip Girl

Photo courtesy of the CW

07 Dec, 2011

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Amanda Knox book deal coming soon?

Amanda Knox, the American coed convicted and later cleared of murder charges in Italy, wants to bring her story about the pursuit of justice in a foreign land to the shelves of a bookseller near you.

Amanda Knox is trying to land a book deal.

Knox is the former foreign exchange student who was condemned to spend more than a quarter century in an Italian prison before her murder conviction was overturned on appeal this fall. Her story was the subject of a controversial 2010 Lifetime Original Movie, starring Hayden Panettiere. 

Now that she's a free woman, Knox has hired Washington, DC attorney Robert Barnett to represent her in discussions with publishers, a Knox family spokesperson said Monday. Barnett has represented the literary interests of Presidents Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, as well as former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Literary experts have suggested that Knox -- nicknamed "Foxy Knoxy" by the Italian press -- could command a seven-figure book deal as publishers compete to bring her biography to print.

Celebrities give mixed reactions to Amanda Knox verdict >>

In October, Knox was released after serving three years in prison. An Italian appeals court dramatically overturned the American student's conviction for sexually assaulting and brutally stabbing her British roommate, Meredith Kercher, to death in a supposed sexual liason gone wrong.

Knox, her Italian boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito and an African-born drifter named Rudy Guede were convicted in the 2007 slaying. Amanda slashed her friend's throat with a knife during a violent night fueled by sex and drugs, prosecutors argued at trial.

The case made international headlines amid the outcry that faulty DNA evidence and police misconduct played a role in the convictions of Knox and Sollecito -- whose conviction was also overturned as part of the landmark October decision.

Knox returned to her family's home in Seattle, Washington following her successful appeal. She has granted no interviews since being released from prison.

Image courtesy WENN.com

07 Dec, 2011

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Source: http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/849031/amanda-knox-book-deal-coming-soon
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Tonight's Dinner: Chili con carne

When one thinks of chili, they usually think of ground beef or turkey. But what if you had chunks of meat instead of hamburger? You'd get chili with a TexMex twist.

I'm a huge Top Chef fan. Every single season the TIVO is set and within a day or two I watch the entire episode drooling from start to finish. Inevitably there are always a few recipes that the cheftestants made that I want to try and recreate in my own kitchen. The episode that aired a few weeks ago was no different.

This season the show is taking place all over Texas from San Antonio to Dallas to Austin. And if there's one thing you can expect in Texas that's chili. So of course the show dedicated an entire episode to the chili cook off. And let me tell you, as a serious chili lover each chili the cheftestants made looked better than the last. By the end of the episode, I wanted chili so badly I looked up the recipes and decided to make some of my own.

While all the chili recipes sounded awesome, the one I wanted to try the most was the chili con carne. I was also intrigued because it used chunks of beef instead of the standard ground. There was only one thing I changed in the recipe, and that's the beans. Evidently true Texas chili has no beans. But seeing as how I love my chili with beans, I just had to throw in a can. The result was awesome and a nice change of pace from my standard recipe. Next up, chili made with chocolate.

chili con carne

Ingredients:

• 3 pounds beef chuck, cut into 1-inch cubes
• 2 cans diced tomatoes
• 2 yellow onions, chopped
• 5 cloves garlic
• 2 bottles of beer
• 4 whole Roma tomatoes
• 2 cans kidney beans
• 2-3 tablespoons chili powder
• 1 tablespoon oregano
• 1 tablespoon cumin
• Kosher salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. In a 5-quart pot, heat a 1/4 cup olive oil over medium-high heat. Sear the beef in batches until browned on all sides. Transfer the beef to a plate and set aside.
2. Reduce the heat to medium and pour the beer into the pot and cook down while scraping up the browned bits with a wooden spoon.
3. Meanwhile heat a grill to high. Slice the onions into 1-inch rings. Grill the onions until charred. Toss the Roma tomatoes in olive oil and grill for five to 10 minutes, or until charred as well.
4. While the onions and tomatoes cook, fill a small sauce pan with a 1/4 cup olive oil and cook the garlic cloves over low heat until they're soft, for 15 to 20 minutes.
5. Transfer garlic, onions and Roma tomatoes to a food processor and pulse until smooth like a tomato sauce. Transfer the tomato/onion mixture to the 5-quart pot. Stir in the beef, canned tomatoes, beans, chili powder, cumin, oregano, salt and pepper and let simmer for at least one hour and up to three. Serve immediately.

More Tonight's Dinner recipes  >>

other chili recipes

Baked chili casserole

Beer chili

Slow cooker chili chicken soup

07 Dec, 2011

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Karina Smirnoff and Brad Penny split

Deja vu? Dancing with the Stars champ Karina Smirnoff has called off another engagement. The ballroom star and Detroit Tigers pitcher Brad Penny are going their separate ways after a two year romance, insiders say. What went wrong?

Dunzo!  Dancing with the Stars pro Karina Smirnoff is a single woman again after calling time on another engagement. 

Smirnoff, 30, has split from her fiancé, Detroit Tigers pitcher Brad Penny, Us Weekly has learned, citing someone close to the former couple.

Penny and Smirnoff were introduced by UFC fighter Chuck Liddell, a mutual friend. They began dating in October 2009.

The split news will come as little surprise to observant DWTS fans. Karina is still riding high off  the victory of winning her first Mirrorball Trophy. But during her emotional run to the Dancing championship with partner J.R. Martinez, Penny was never spotted in the audience.

The pair had recently postponed their January wedding plans due to their busy schedules.

"They're just different people," a source told E! of the recent breakup.

The fleet-footed Dancing with the Stars stunner revealed her engagement to Penny, 33, in November 2010. The announcement came just a nanosecond after Karina put the kibosh on plans to marry DWTS castmate-turned- acrimonious ex Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Karina Smirnoff reveals her perfect wedding dress >>

“We kept it quiet because my family is in New York and Brad’s family is in Oklahoma so we kind of wanted them to come out and celebrate and be a family first before we let the cat out of the bag," Karina told People magazine at the time.

Penny got down on one knee at a restaurant  in Malibu and presented her with a 4 1/2-carat diamond ring, a blushing Karina explained. She debuted the sparkler at a party at the Las Vegas nightclub Tao a few weeks later.

“I was in the middle of the show and had no clue what was cooking behind my back,” Smirnoff smiled lovingly. 

“The dinner meeting was set up at a restaurant in Malibu. When [my manager and I] got there, it was completely empty. She excused herself to take a call and while I was sitting there alone, Brad came in. I had crazy hair and black lipstick on and was just concerned about looking like the Bride of Frankenstein," she added. 

"Even after Brad got down to one knee and opened the box with the ring, it still didn’t register.”

Image courtesy DJDM/WENN.com

06 Dec, 2011

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Source: http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/849029/karina-smirnoff-and-brad-penny-split
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10 Cheap holiday date ideas

With the holidays rapidly approaching, scoring some alone time with your man is vital, but it can be tough on your wallet when trying to fulfill your kids' Christmas wishes. From affordable date ideas like ice skating to free date ideas like taking a stroll to enjoy the changing leaves, discover 10 cheap holiday date ideas that will give you a break from the kids without breaking the bank.

Glide together on the ice

You may have to hide this holiday date from your youngsters, but heading to a local rink or seasonal ice skating pond is rich on fun without costing a lot.

Watch a tree lighting ceremony

Check with your city to uncover tree lighting ceremonies happening in your area. They are often free and feature a festive countdown and a visit from Santa Claus.

Stroll through neighborhood Christmas lights

For a free holiday date idea, intertwine your fingers with your honey and wander slowly through the nearest neighborhood hot spot for Christmas lights displays with hot coco in hand.

Uncover 7 tips to help parents keep the spark alive >>

Visit Santa Claus

Whether you head to the mall or to an affordable local holiday festival, pay a visit to Santa without your kids and spring for a couples' photo with the jolly man himself.

Throw a Christmas movie marathon

Set your kids up with a sleepover at grandma and grandpa's house and settle in with your honey for a movie marathon at home, complete with your favorite holiday movies.

Hunt down the perfect tree

Scope out the perfect conifer on a Christmas tree farm or lot and partake in the fun and games. You can always bring your family back later to approve it and pick it up.

Learn how to commit to date night >>

See a local holiday performance

Check for holiday plays or concerts playing at a local venue, which are traditionally more affordable yet tell the same story.

Go caroling

Hook up with a group or set out on your own to belt out your favorite holiday tunes together without spending a dime.

Read Christmas stories

Grab a seat at a local coffee shop or snuggle up in front of a romantic fire after the kids are in bed and read classic Christmas stories to one another to amp up the romance and the holiday spirit.

Walk through autumn colors

Around your neighborhood or at a local park, strolling hand-in-hand through the season's changing foliage is free -- and ultra romantic -- when looking for a holiday date that doesn't have to be scheduled.

"It's important to date your mate!"

"It's important to date your mate," advises Julie Spira, Cyber-dating expert. "Creating rituals together such as a weekly date night will enhance your relationship and give you something to look forward to," even through the busy holiday.

And, regardless of how busy holidays with kids can be, Spira urges couples to honor your date night. "It will keep your relationship alive!" With these 10 cheap date holiday date ideas, romancing your mate is not only important, it can also be affordable!

Read more on romance

How to find time for romance with a new baby 
Monday mom challenge: repair your romance 
Top 5 romantic home dates

07 Dec, 2011

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